The Light with Raymond Tyler
Over the last few weeks, the news has reported that the numbers of Covid-19 cases are higher in Black Communities. These same reports also say the rate of death is greater in Black Communities. In an effort to help bring awareness and information, I will be reporting on the effects of The Covid-19 Crisis in Atlantic City until it is resolved. This week we look at the effect of Covid-19 reporting and the lockdown on mental health locally.
People of color make up more of the front line workers in hospitals and are not only at risk, but place their family at risk after their shifts are done. So being off of work does not always bring peace of mind. Also when looking at mental health, Covid-19 has taken away access to the church which until now has been a refuge for the Black community during almost every other crisis.
Tamu Lane is a licensed therapist who has worked for more than a decade as a counselor for The Atlantic County Women’s Center. Lane currently teaches an online master class on caring for your mental health and practices out of her own offices. I collected questions from community members and she took the time to offer her professional insight.
Question: Since this lock down has started, I have seen people that were friends almost celebrate other people getting sick or wishing death on communities that are opening up. Were my friends always like this?
Tamu: People are afraid of catching this virus and dying. Fear is a scary thing and it makes people who were once loving and kind, do and say things that they normally would have never done or said. Fear brings out the worst in many of us. We could find ourselves lashing out at people for no reason other than being fearful of the unknown. So, the answer to this question is, no, it just means that they are scared, and they don’t know any other way of expressing themselves.
Question: Since this started I now have high levels of anxiety. I barely sleep and when I do I have bad dreams? I wake up at 3am and think “Oh my God, there’s still 20 hours left in the day!” I find myself on the verge of a panic attack because I don’t see an end in sight. Help! What are some tips for dealing with these feelings?
Tamu: This is hard time for many people and anxiety and panic attacks are more common in the world today. We first must be patient with ourselves because right now, this is our new norm. So, we have to come to a place of acceptance first because if we don’t accept what is happening we will continue to have these attacks. Next, remove unhealthy behaviors from your life that is doable currently. You can cut off the television and news feeds from your phone, tablets, and computers. Watching constant news is causing a lot of these feelings in us. If a person needs to see the news, I tell them to turn it on either in the morning or at 12pm, watch it and let it go. The news is very repetitive so there is no need to feed your brains with this continued bad news. Also never watch the news at night because you go to bed with these visuals and words in your head and they come out in your dreams or you cannot sleep. Let’s be vigilant in taking care of ourselves. Another is to seek to remove negative conversations and/or people from your space if you can. That just feeds your anxiety. I am very clear about the words, if you can, because I do understand that some of the negativity that you are faced with might be coming from someone in your home, so it’s hard to remove yourself from that space. And this is when our voice must be heard in letting them know that you prefer not to be a part of the negative conversation because it is causing you anxiety. But if you can remove the person or the conversations, this is especially important to do. Another, believe it or not, is to watch what you are eating during this time because sugar and other processed foods can cause us to have increased anxiety. So, eating a more balanced diet full of vegetables, beans, fruits, and a lot of water can truly help to lower those feelings. Another important factor is getting exercise of some kind everyday to increase those endorphins. You can also use a friend that you know is healthy and supportive to process those feelings in order to help you lower your anxiety.
Prayer and meditation are also a huge important factor during this time as well.
Question: I did not see a lot of people before the lock down. I looked forward to seeing my family and a few friends on Sunday’s and having dinner. I miss my family, my friends and calling on the phone is not the same. What can I do?
Tamu: I understand that missing your family and not seeing them is hard but once again we must come into an acceptance of what is going on in our world today. But what is so great about the time that we live in is that we have devices such as Zoom, Facebook live, and other mechanisms to be able to connect with our families and see their faces. This is a time where we must take advantage of these tools that we have.
Another thing is that we can now become creative in how we connect with one another such as having both sides cook dinner and then while we eat our meal, we can meet and see each other through the phone or the computer as if we were next to one another.
We can also do social distancing drive by’s which my family and I have done on several occasions just so that we can see each other’s faces.
Let’s not look at this as if we are stuck but yet we have an opportunity to do things differently and appreciate them so that when the world does open back up, we will hopefully be more appreciative of one another.
Question: I am 45 years old. My feet, back and arms have been aching for years. Likewise, I struggle through allergy season each year. However, every time I sneeze, I have to convince myself that I am not going die or worse yet infect my family. How do I calm myself?
Tamu: This is a common feeling amongst people today because we are so afraid. As you have mentioned, you have allergies, and this is one of the worst times of the year for allergies. You also mentioned that you have had back, arm and feet pain for years. So, in knowing this, it’s about breathing, calming your mind and putting things into perspective realizing that you have allergies and you sneeze every year this time. And that you have been dealing with pain before this virus came along. So, if you say this to yourself enough, it will hopefully bring clarity and perspective back to you and know that you are doing your best to protect you and your family. Just breathe and not allow your mind to run away! The only one that can control your thoughts are you and self-talk can either damage us or heal us. I would challenge you to change your self-talk to more positive thinking so that it can heal you and not stress you.
To email Tamu Lane directly or to get information about her class please contact her at Tamu.lane@yahoo.com
This story was part of the COVID-19 Reporting Fellowship project with NJ ethnic and community media from the Center for Cooperative Media at Montclair State University.
You can connect with Raymond Tyler via Facebook, Twitter, Youtube and Instagram @RaymondTyler2018.
