Senior Moments

By Charles P. Eberson

A Senior’s Observations, Opinions and Rantings

When my wife told me I had a problem, I had to ask her to please narrow it down. She chose a time when our relationship was meshing seamlessly with the minefields of who does what, finances, kids, parents, brothers, sisters and why I don’t put the new toilet paper on the roll, was seemingly dormant.  

Apparently, the problem du jour is my T-shirts.  I have, on occasion, been described as a hoarder, a term that I find inaccurate and quite distasteful. While it is true that I presently have over 100 T-shirts, I have culled the herd down from about 125.  I see that as progress. There are those in my family who feel that an intervention is needed. Those of you who may raise their eyebrows at such a number, I do believe it deserves some clarification.  These are not your run of the mill tidy whiteys, tank tops, wife beaters, muscle shirts or what have you.  

The shirts I have accumulated over the years have sayings on them or commemorate certain events.  Rather than a hoarder, I consider myself a collector of vintage articles of clothing. It all started innocently enough over 45 years ago when I was a collegiate rower. There was a custom among competing crews that was not fully endorsed by the athletic department or the college. It was the betting of racing shirts.  

While “betting” may have been seen as having a negative connotation, it was a tradition and carried with it an air of chivalry.  In a dual meet, as the two 8-oared crews slowly approached the starting line, one crew member would call across to the other crew “shirts?”  Declining the offer would be the same as saying defeat is a foregone conclusion.

After the race and the outcome was decided. The losing rowers would take off their shirts and give it to the rower who sat in the same position they sat in. For instance, the losing rower in 5-seat would give his shirt to the winning oarsman in 5-seat and so on. Usually in a show of bravado, the winner of the racing shirt would take off their own shirt and pull on the sweaty, salty, shirt in front of shirtless rower, or so I’m told. Literally, when a crew team loses, they lose their shirt. Each shirt represented a vanquished foe. They had significant meaning to me and I cherished each one.

When my collegiate racing career was over, I would still compete but there was no betting, so I would purchase the regatta T-shirts i.e., Head of the Schuylkill, Head of the Potomac, Head of the Charles Regatta, Navy Day Regatta.

Then, both of my children took up the oar and competed in high school and college regattas.  I had to have a T-shirt to commemorate their participation.  The dye was cast. In addition to the regattas, I started buying concert t-shirts, Jimmy Buffet, Bruce Springsteen, Simon and Garfunkel and so on.  For years, my wife and I was in charge of housing swimmers from all over the world for the now defunct “Around the Island Swim.”

I have T-shirts from all of those swims. These were soon followed by beach patrol shirts, shirts from surf shops around the country and a couple shirts from the private military contractor, Blackwater. Of course, when your family starts buying shirts that say, “The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves” and “Trample the Weak, Hurtle the Dead,” it may be time for a little introspection.

Every so often, I rotate the inventory so eventually I have worn most of them a few times over the course of the year. I have had the suggestion to make them into quilts and have found companies in rowing magazines that do just that.  It sounds like a brilliant alternative but how can I still wear them if they are sewn into a quilt?

So, for the time being, it seems like the T-shirt issue will have to remain unresolved mainly because I don’t think I have a problem, at least a t-shirt problem anyway.  The good news, however is that my collection has reached critical mass. I’m pretty much done with concert T-shirts.  There’s not that many groups I want to see anymore and at the current rate they are dying off, the concerts will be few and far between. Although I might still lose my shirt at some point, it won’t be because I bet it in a crew race.

Charles Eberson has been in the newspaper business for over 25 years.  He was worked as a writer, advertising executive, circulation manager and photographer. His photography can be viewed at charles-eberson.fineartamerica.com